Yes, I have been and not just from this blog. There’s been a lot going on in life over the past month or so. When did I last post? Yeah, on September 23rd. So it just feels like forever. My runs have consisted of short run/walks over the past few weeks. Honestly? It’s been demoralizing. I used to regularly get on the treadmill and pound out 6+ miles. No big deal. The longer my long runs were outside, the harder it became to get on the treadmill. Throw in the pain I was having in my hip and knee, and I wavered between wanting to sit on the couch and cry and get out and run until I could run no more. Neither option would have benefitted me. So instead I ran gently until it hurt and then stopped – usually choking back a few tears. Because this year at NWM I was supposed to reach my goal of under 2 hours. I had been training and getting better and faster and impressing even myself. *patting self on the back* Heck, I even got an email from Coach Joe saying “way to go!” Yeah, that didn’t feed my ego at all. *Hi, Coach Joe!*
Speaking of Coach Joe. Today on my run a lot was running through my head (ha! running!). Some of you saw my lovely interview with Coach Joe and Coach Dean. Wait, let me find the link.
Yeah, that was a fun day in San Diego. But as I watched that for the first time, I noticed I said one word A LOT. Can you figure it out? *mental*
Yes, I’m a head case. But in the last month I’ve lost my mojo. My first thought when a run feels hard is, “eh, I’m tired. I want to stop.” And unfortunately I have been. This doesn’t include the pain aspect of being broken. This is “I’m bored of this and it’s hard and I don’t wanna!” Can you hear the whine? It’s been fun in my head lately. But as I hit my last mile of my 6-mile run today and just wanted to walk the rest. But I glanced at the time and saw that I had less than 10 minutes before my self-proclaimed time of “get ‘er done in less than 58 minutes”. You know what happened next? I saw ChristieO’s face. Just like in this picture. With that BondiBand on her head.
And you know what? I did just that. I even picked up my pace for the last 0.25 to 0.5 mile. I’m not over the mental hump yet. But in 7 days I will be on my way home from completing my 4th half marathon in a year. I’ve come a long way baby!!